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Aug. 25th, 2005 @ 10:41 pm Today...I cried....twice
Current Mood: sadsad
I am just getting so sick and tired of everything...i don't know how much longer i can put up with everyones bull shit...im not gonna share everything with you, but i will tell you what happened to me just a minute ago, b/4 while i was thinking of something to write in my journal.

Crazy mom: Jenny heres a cupon for that jacket you tried on at belk the other day
innocent livejournal updater: mom...its fine i dont have the money for it
insane mom:well how much do you want it?
upset girl thats trying to do whats best for herself: well i like it...but not enough to waste my money on it right now...im sure ill find one i like even more sometime down the road..and it will probably be more affordable
crazy insane mom: OH YEAH...Well i came in your room earlier and there was a picture frame with glass on the floor
(im making a beach scene for someone...in the pic frame)
girl just trying to show she cares: well...im making that thing for jade
inncoent jenny: theres glue on it and its drying
insane mom who doesnt deserve a different name right now: there wasnt glue on it earlier!!!
innocent jenny: i was working on it...and i realized i was about to be late for class
insane mom: well someone could step on it and break it
innocent jenny: well no one should be in my room anyways...the door was closed...in that case it shouldnt have been bothered
insane mom: *growls evil growl * *getts up walks out* *slams door*
innocent jenny: starts crying
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Aug. 23rd, 2005 @ 11:04 pm We all have our bad days...they usually get better
Current Mood: sadsad
Current Music: Coldplay...
Wow...Life can be so hectic sometimes. Between full time school, and almost full time work, and homework. It's hard to find time for myself. enough about me.

I've been sad lately.
I don't think I've been this sad since Jan. of 2002.
I don't think I've prayed this much in years either, and I wonder if I was ever as sincere about them then as I am about them now.
I don't think that I've ever had happy memories turned into painful thoughts as quickly as they do now...oh wait...Jan. of 02
I don't think I've felt this helpless since I was seven.
I don't think I've ever remembered something someone said word for word, and when it was origionally said I smiled, when now I try to repeat it and my voice trembles.
I do have enough faith to believe that you will be okay.
I have been talking to God, asking him to watch over you, and give you strength.
I have found a small way to bring our beach to you.
You are an amazing person, and I know you can't read this now, but you know who you are, and I want you to know, I admire your spirit, I savor our emotional conversations, and our days at the beach. We have grown rather distant lately, and I wan't you to know that you are as good of a friend to me now, as you used to be. Time cannot seperate what we have.
I have faith that soon you will be able to come home, and when you do, you'll read this, and then...we shall go to the beach.
I find it strange that we search
our whole lives for love
As though it were the
final treasure
The solemn purpose of people
In movies and magazines.
Yet when it comes to your door
one morning with calm eyes to deliver itself
you realize it alone, is not enough

You are before me, sweet man,
and i am thinking
aren't I supposed to give up
Aren't I supposed to be brave
and abandon
each dream and aspiration
and yield utterly to this
elusive beast love,
To your soft belly and companionship

Aren't we supposed to
have a pice of land and children
that look like you
and cook soup and bread
and sing each other songs before sleep
and absentmindedly count the stars
from our front porch as we pray
for each other's keep
and pretend
forever is a word known
not only by the heart?
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Aug. 18th, 2005 @ 07:41 pm I love School
Current Mood: depresseddepressed
Current Music: brooke
Today was my first day back at la escuela. AH...me ama escuela. I always get so excited for the first day of school....i love school so much. I love turkey, its so yummy...which reminds me...I saw Matt at the Wachovia today...he is so sexy to me. I love to look at sexy things.

so sexy

Which also reminds me...I need to find another job. Like super bad...Its sucks b/c i was only getting like 15 hours for the past two weeks at sears, and the very first week of school I've suddenly got 30 hours...which is fine...but I wanted Friday off b/c its my birthday, and they wont give it to me...bullshit. pure bullshit. I don't love bullshit. Besides ya'd think since they were a corporation they would be able to pay decently...nope...think again.
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Aug. 10th, 2005 @ 11:03 pm why
Current Mood: sadsad
Current Music: Let me Go
Why am I doing this to myself? I keep listening to sad love music and thinking about...dum dum dummm....someone stop me.

I shouldn't be aloud to think...its depressing me
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Aug. 10th, 2005 @ 08:45 am Forget love, I'd rather fall in choclate
Current Mood: excited~super excited
Current Music: Listen to your heart...the one danielle sent me
All things considered...I'm doing just fine.
I had a brilliant idea last night...and i began putting out my offer...so far I have one yes and a maybe. I had an incredibly wonderful idea to take a trip over to Texas, and either hike up to the bowl which is a 9.1 mile hike, the bowl is a forest in the middle of the desert...i mean come on....who wouldn't wanna go see a forest in the middle of the freakin desert.
My other option would be just to hike straight up to the top of texas...We would end up at the higest elevation in Texas...just enough to see to the edge of the state...well mabye not that far...but it would definately be worth it. *le sigh* I am all ready uber exctied.

A couple years back we took a hike up the same mountain, except we went to Devils hall. Which is a very tall yet narrow canyon...It was amazing. The mini canyon is supposed to be the highlight of the trip, however...the part i found the best was the natural grand stairway we had to walk up to get there. It was incredible. So were hiking up this mountain for a couple of hours, in the desert sun...its hot...were tired...getting iritable...theres nothing to look at but rocks, catci, and almost dead pine trees...we take a little turn around a corner...and *BAM* you get hit by a train...na j/k....but there the pathway opens up into a huge staircase...which personally is much cooler than getting hit by a train.

OMG! Jenny is so excited...yet it makes her sad to know...she wont be doing this till next summer. She just doesn't want to wait that long.

If the people who wanted to go with her also wanted to go to carlsbad caverns...she would be more than happy to do this again...because she thinks underground caverns are also amazing...and she feels it correct if all other thrill seekers like herself also get the opportunities to go into caves 700 feet underground. Once again...so well worth your time, but she will leave that up to those who decided to go.

YAY!!!...I need to clean my room...so whenever Danielle comes over, she can show her all the cool things from the desert..pic.
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Aug. 9th, 2005 @ 12:55 am Im home...
Current Mood: confusedconfused
Current Music: Paul Anka - Diana
"Row row row your boat gentely down a raging bone crushing life threatening class 5 stream, merrily merrily merrily life is but a dream"

Home from the rafting trip...*le sigh* It was super fun. I would love to do it again...not sure when though.

I have yet to finish unpacking...I am just not motivated enough to do it...I feel lonely...well not really lonely. I have been thinking a lot lately, and I don't know what is better to do, follow my heart, or follow my head. I know what my heart is telling me it wants, but my head is saying "stop Jenny before you do something stupid again"

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Aug. 3rd, 2005 @ 10:27 pm WHA...a day off
Current Mood: relaxedrelaxed
Current Music: Lifehouse
Yesterday was my last day at le Kitty Grub...*tear* When I left the place closed...ha how funny is that...I give props to Lee for that one

Today was the grand opening for the new store across the street...of course I was there. *sigh*

I'm not sure what to talk about right now, however I will have more free time, so I should write on here more often. Pheraps I will have more interesting things to talk about...lol...I suppose we will find out, eh?

I know I already talked about this, but I'm going to again. Jenny's doing the white water rafting thing this weekend!!! w00t w00t!!! I'm so excited...hehe.

Hum...i think im gonna watch tv...Woah! I actually want to watch tv!!! however I need to start getting ready for ze trip.
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Aug. 1st, 2005 @ 11:48 pm (no subject)
Current Mood: aggravatedaggravated yet, happy
My short summer has been very very long, I haven't done anything but worked, please do not misinterpret this, I'm not complaining. I am very glad everything worked out the way it did, even with the evil monkey manager. I have met a few very awesome people, who make me laugh, some who are great to talk to, some u are super sexy, and a few who, well are just all around good people to be with.

I'm gonna miss a lot of people at Food Lion, just not bonnie...lol.

This weekend my momma and I are going white water rafting, its gonna be fun. I'm really excited about it, I need to get a few things ready for it.

I've had a lot going on lately, I once again, don't want to sound like im complaining, b/c im not trying to, I just have a lot on my plate, and I need a little chill time, theres a few people out there who just dont seem to get it, and im trying not to hurt feelings, but if i dont do something about it soon, im gonna really mess with someones head.

I'll keep updated with everything, since im not double shifting pulling out my hair.
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Jul. 30th, 2005 @ 11:48 pm havent been on in awhile
Current Mood: blankblank
Current Music: tv...blah
I cut my finger on the wall today.

I usually love thunderstorms waking me in the middle of the night. Crazy ain't it? I wake up to the sound of thunder, and then slowely drift back into dreamland with the pitter patter of the rain, and the soft rumble of thunder. However the other night, I was harshly awaken by sharp scary lightning, it took me much longer to get back to sleep than normal, and then i ended up having this terrible dream...where this guy i work with tried to kill me...it was so bizzare...and i dont really feel like talking anymore right now...so i guess thats it.
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Jul. 22nd, 2005 @ 12:18 am uhhhhhhh errrrrrr
Current Mood: irritatedirritated
I put in my notice at Kitty Grub...yay! my last day is August 2nd....i no longer have to put up with satans mother in law.

I had a lot of neat things i wanted to post...but right now im just really irritated, in face im so irritated im just gonna go to bed...b/c why torture youself being awake with ignorant people when u can just go to sleep.

That little guy up there looks kinda pissed...let me remind u im not really angry...just irritated and flustered.
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